Sneaking Pipes and Bongs Into Music Festivals

For many stoners out there, music festivals are an essential and holy fact of life, havens of good vibes, free love, and great musical accompaniments to help your mind reach new heights, naturally or otherwise. For many, that sweet Mary Jane is a necessity to enhance the experience and to aid you in absorbing every single musical note into the core of your being or like, whatever, man. If you’re among those which smoke their bud primarily from pipes and bongs, you might think that it’s too risky to try and sneak something like that into the festival. After all, anything illegal does have to be snuck in, and it’s certainly much simpler to crotch a bag of kush than a whole damn pipe, or bong for that matter. A bit of creativity can go a long way though, and after all, where there’s a will to get high using your preferred method, there’s a way.

This all depends mostly on how intense the security is at whichever festival you’re going to. There’s no real way to know unless you’ve been before or find out from others who have, but even then no one can really know if security will be enforced more or less from one year to the next, and there’s no way to factor in the fact that those working security are all individuals with vastly varied levels of commitment to their job. The best course of action then is to take as little chances as possible and assume the worst of the worst, in case you happen to get the one dude who will turn every single pocket of your bag inside out.

The single most foolproof solution to sneaking anything into a festival that I’ve ever heard of and used, is the classic “stash everything in a menstruation pad or tampon box and reseal it” method. Yes, of course, you will only be able to sneak in smaller pipes and bongs, but it’s better than nothing and I’ve never seen any security guard even come close to messing with a box like that in my bag. Just get the biggest box of pads or tampons you can find that’s also reasonable for a weekend long event (the more girls you’re with the bigger box you can get though) and open it up carefully, empty only some of the contents, stash everything illegal at the bottom of the box, cover up with pads/tampons, then reseal the box with super glue. It’s extremely unlikely that any guard would risk the potential embarrassment of tearing up a tampon box only to find nothing, so you shouldn’t have any problems. Also keep in mind, you’ll look a little silly if you attempt this and there are no girls in your group. If that’s the case just do this with some other kind of boxed good, like a cereal box if the festival allows you to bring food, or a box of kleenex or something.

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Ross Cameron

Ross Cameron

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